Eight misunderstandings men have about sex

There is a crosstalk saying: If they say you can do it, you can do it, even if you can’t; if they say you can’t do it, you can’t do it, even if you can. Some men fail in sex, often because of their negative "cognition" of themselves. Based on many years of clinical experience, the author summarizes the following 8 outstanding issues:

Overgeneralization

For example: "Tonight, I had trouble getting an erection, so I won't have one tomorrow morning." Exaggerating an occasional problem into the general situation is an overgeneralization. Penile erection is the result of the interaction of multiple factors under the regulation of nerves and endocrine system, and is related to sensory stimulation such as touch, vision, hearing, and smell. Occasionally not having morning erections does not mean that erections are bad.

Suspicion

For example: "I know how she feels without asking. Is she saying nice things to please me?" This kind of suspicion shows a misunderstanding of your partner. Couples need to be sincere, frank and open with each other. Especially in sexual life, since men and women have many differences in sexual psychology, sexual excitement, sexual response cycle, etc., they should listen to each other's opinions, express their feelings frankly, and strengthen mutual exchanges and communication.

Lack of initiative

One of the most prominent manifestations of men's lack of initiative in couples' sexual life is their lack of self-confidence, and they believe that their partner's words and actions are just to comfort themselves. At this time, the wife should tell the other party "you are the best" more often, and it is best to describe her pleasure in detail.

Lack of sexual fantasies

In sexual life, sexual fantasy is an important source of sexual sensation and the "engine" of sexual response. Through sexual fantasies, sex can be turned into a hazy enjoyment, thereby promoting penile erection.

Negative expectations

For example: "I feel like my performance tonight was still terrible." Men's pessimism about erections and even sex life can be fatal. This is also related to lack of sexual fantasies, lack of initiative, etc.

Random speculation

For example: "No matter what others say, I feel that my erection is not good, so it is not good." Emotional speculation refers to the patient's inference of the quality of the erection hardness based solely on his own feelings.

Too strict with oneself

For example: "I must achieve perfect hardness every time during sex and I must satisfy my lover." Men often demand this of themselves. Little do people know that occasional sexual dissatisfaction is related to fatigue and mood. Only by relaxing, letting go of burdens and doing what you want can you be at ease in sex.

Too much mental burden

For example: "If I don't perform well tonight, my lover will abandon me." Most men regard poor sexual performance as a huge disaster, and once it happens, they will lose interest in life and work. In fact, one or two failures are not terrible. Even if sexual performance is poor for a period of time, it can be treated through oral medications, psychological counseling, etc.