4 stages of relationship breakdown from quarrel to divorce

After the couple enters the bridal chamber hand in hand, after the passionate period, they enter the conflict period. If the conflict is not resolved in time, it will turn into a dispute and an entangled argument. Generally speaking, disputes among people with low cultural levels and choleric or sanguine temperaments often manifest themselves externally, such as quarrels, fights, and destruction of property. It can be resolved through mediation, but it will happen again later and the civil war will never end.

Among those with high cultural level and phlegmatic or melancholic temperament, they often show inner depression and do not argue on the surface, but in their hearts they are cold to each other and have cracks in their hearts, so mediation is not likely to be effective.

alert

As disputes accumulate, couples become estranged and wary of each other, commonly known as "sleeping in the same bed but dreaming different dreams." In the form of vigilance, those of the fetishistic type often conceal each other's property, income and expenditure, while those of the externalistic type conceal their interactions with the opposite sex from each other. In order to prevent the other party from getting hold of something and learning the truth, both sides are on guard in economic and social relations, and even keep their mouths shut about personal career and future issues, and set up layers of defense to guard against the other party like they would guard against theft.

crack

Secrets will always be revealed one day. The disclosure of secrets leads to more serious disputes, which in turn increases vigilance; as a result, a vicious cycle is formed, and finally cracks appear. The rift manifests itself emotionally as strong dissatisfaction and behaviorally as mutual deviation. At this time, most of those who have the conditions to live together live separately; those who do not have the conditions to live together, even if they live together, live back to back and do not interfere with each other.

rupture

The rift grew bigger and bigger and could not be mended, and the relationship broke down completely. There are roughly three modes of decision-making for couples whose relationship has broken down: one is to go their separate ways and divorce through legal procedures; the second is that for various reasons, it is inconvenient to divorce, so they have to make do with their lives, endure setbacks and bear heavy burdens, and their relationship exists in name only; the third is that the relationship has broken down and cannot be reversed, so they refuse to divorce just to torture the other party, "holding him (her) back and not letting him (her) be happy." This kind of drag is stupid and immoral, harming others as well as yourself.

What is manifested within will be manifested without. There are four stages of emotional breakdown. The first two are internal and are the "causes", which generally fall into the category of inner activities; the last two are external and are the "results", which generally fall into the category of actions. Therefore, to prevent emotional breakdown, couples should make adjustments when conflicts occur and resolve them in the bud.