Uncovering the ambiguous sex education in Chinese marriage customs

When choosing a wedding date, it must be avoided during the bride's menstrual period

In the past, people had to choose an auspicious day to get married, which was called "selecting a happy date". The man would seek out a Feng Shui master to calculate an auspicious date for the wedding based on the man and woman's zodiac signs and birth dates. After the date is chosen, the man will go to the woman’s house to “send the date”.

If the woman’s family sets the date back, they need to “select” it again. It’s not that the day is unlucky, it’s mainly because the day happens to coincide with the girl’s menstrual period. The man will have to ask the Feng Shui master to "choose an auspicious date" again. When the Feng Shui master "chooses a date" again, it will definitely be 15 days later or earlier than the last time. The menstrual period is postponed or advanced by 15 days, which happens to be the ovulation period of women, so pregnancy on the honeymoon is not uncommon. Modern medicine has proven that it is not suitable to have children during the newly married period due to factors such as fatigue and drinking. Another way to “choose a wedding date” is for the Feng Shui master to select two dates at once, one in the first half of the month and one in the second half of the month, for the bride’s mother to choose from, also to avoid the bride’s menstrual period.

The bottom of the box and the wedding night are ambiguous sex education

People in the past were very conservative, and many couples would get engaged based on the words of a matchmaker before getting married. Little did they know that it was very embarrassing for two people who had never met to have the most secret contact at night.

Therefore, the day before the wedding, the mother has to make a last-minute effort to give her daughter a sex education. There are special tools for sex education, called "bottom of the box". Most of them are porcelain cups and plates in ordinary people's homes, with "pornographic pictures" painted on them to give the bride basic psychological preparation.

Wedding night pranks are also a form of sex education. As the saying goes, "There is no distinction between young and old for a new bride for three days." After entering the bridal chamber, everyone, regardless of gender, age or status, can come in to "see the new bride" and tease the bride, intentionally turning the originally shy girl into a bold and outspoken bride. More importantly, during the bridal chamber prank, everyone wants the newlyweds to do various intimate, subtle but clearly directed actions to alleviate the sense of strangeness between the bride and groom.

The bride returns to her parents' home three days later to "heal her wounds"

On the third day after the wedding, the bride will be taken back by her brothers from her natal family to stay for three days, and then the groom will go to pick her up again. This is called "returning to the parents' home". Because the bride is basically a virgin before getting married, the hymen is damaged during the first night, which is quite painful. The groom is young and energetic and doesn't know how to be gentle with women. The bride's family is worried that the bride can't bear it, so they take her back home to "heal" under the pretext that she misses her parents.

When returning to the parents' home, the bride is often called aside by her sisters-in-law, who whisper some private words to her and teach her some methods of sexual intercourse and precautions on female hygiene.

Nowadays, with the development of society, many traditional customs have disappeared. However, no matter how customs change, sexual health during the wedding period is still very important. I hope that everyone can find some inspiration after reading this article. The shyness is gone, paving the way for that exciting moment. This is foreplay for everyone to participate in.