Poor man, are you going to pay your dues again tonight?

About 80% of women who have been married for more than 7 years have had the same complaint:

"His passion and curiosity for me in bed seemed to be gone."

"Making love is like a routine."

"Is it because it's too familiar that it will inevitably become dull?"

"Every time I see him fall asleep contentedly, I feel like I've been wronged and feel very depressed."

“It’s so hard to be as mentally fulfilled as physically.”

Sex skills video: Although the saying goes that women are "wolves at thirty and tigers at forty", in fact, many women of this age are troubled by their boring life in bed.

Don’t men have these same complaints?

So, does he really not love you anymore or do you no longer have feelings for him? Did you misunderstand him or did he misunderstand you?

A. He doesn't ask, I don't tell

Many couples are not as keen on communicating and exchanging feelings as described in fashion magazines. The opposite is true. Women, in particular, are not even willing to understand and evaluate their sex life from the perspective of exchange. This is the root cause of misunderstandings between partners, because the more this is the case, the more difficult it is to recognize the other person's contribution to yourself, and the less likely you are to make corresponding returns. The most common mistake is that he has actually put a lot of effort into pleasing you and coordinating your sex life, but because you have no communication, he cannot be targeted and you cannot feel it accurately. So there was a serious misunderstanding. Of course, the mutual devotion and reward between partners in their sex life are generally tacitly understood and rarely expressed in words. But this kind of "exchange" actually does exist, and precisely because the party who makes the contribution will not say it explicitly, it is easier for the other party to ignore it and more likely to hurt the other party unintentionally.

B. He wants to, but I don’t.

Do you have to pay your taxes again tonight?

There is a lack of agreement between partners on the psychological timing of choosing sexual intercourse. One party may feel that having sex at this time is natural, but the other party may feel that they are doing it reluctantly and are paying a price. If the former does not understand and appreciate this, and does not make due returns in other ways or in other aspects, the latter will feel that they are suffering a loss, or even being forced or exploited. Over time, every little shadow accumulates and the relationship is easily cooled. The cooling of feelings directly leads to the weakening of women's sexual demands, which is a vicious circle. When two people are just together, these subtle psychological differences are easily ignored and overcome because of their newness and curiosity about each other. However, once they enter a stable situation, various small flaws in their sex life will easily become apparent.

C. He is busy, but I am even busier

After having a stable partner, a man will be more likely to focus on his career, and work and social activities will take up most of his time. After a certain amount of their time is divided between work and social activities, professional women still have to worry about their children and family. The quality and quantity of sex are often not guaranteed. After investigation, sex experts pointed out that professional couples lack undisturbed non-sleeping time to go to bed together, which seriously affects their sex life and the maintenance of their emotional quality.

Repair plan

1. Explore neglected sexual opportunities

If you have ten minutes available, try having a quickie. This may sound like ridiculous advice, but you won’t know until you try it. Sometimes, having sex quickly is not necessarily a bad thing. In fact, many couples appreciate the stimulation brought by rapid sex, which can create a sense of secret between the two of them.

2. Touch each other frequently

The survey shows that apart from having sex, many couples rarely touch each other affectionately. They may feel uncomfortable with this, and touching each other often is the best technique to eliminate emotional and psychological barriers. Make sure to get in the habit of touching your partner, such as holding his hand during a movie, running your fingers up and down his upper arm while watching TV together, and exchanging kisses from time to time. Don't constantly send the message "don't come near me" to your partner. Even if he smudges your freshly applied lipstick when he kisses you in the morning, reapplying makeup is obviously insignificant compared to the signal that he still loves you.