Why most people fail the first time

Many people will remember their first love for a lifetime, because many people’s first love does not last. Wang Ting, an associate professor at the School of Psychology of Nanjing University of Chinese Medicine, recently conducted a small survey on "first love" among the school's senior students. The results showed that among the 240 senior students interviewed, 170 had experienced first love, and only 2 were still in a romantic relationship. The overall success rate of first love was only about 1%.

In summary, the reasons for failure can be divided into two categories:

1. “Can’t Love” Type

A typical example: After a breakup, a boy came to a psychological counseling center and complained to teacher Wang Ting. In their normal relationship, he takes good care of his girlfriend, gives her the best things, and takes her out for “eating, drinking and having fun”. After the quarrel this time, he ran to the girls' dormitory, loudly called the girls' names, and begged for forgiveness, believing that his courage was evident to all. "But instead of being moved, the girl became even angrier and never forgave him again."

2. “Don’t understand love” type

Typical example: A girl went to a psychological counseling center and cried for the whole afternoon after breaking up. The reason she broke up was that she couldn't choose between love and friendship. Her boyfriend forced her to leave a male friend with whom she felt she was very compatible. They both loved poetry and songs. After communication failed, she chose to "go underground" with her friends and communicate without her boyfriend noticing. Finally, my boyfriend found out.

Netizens said:

@Cambrian: Actually, this has something to do with a person's psychology, because when he has something, he doesn't know what he really needs or what he hates. Only when he loses it do he suddenly realize that what he wanted is gone! I think there are two main reasons why first love fails. One is that the subjective time of falling in love is a little early and everything about oneself seems very childish. Sometimes one does not even understand what one needs, so when one grows up and matures, one finds that the lover one wants is not like this. The other is more objective. When you are in your first love, you cannot control yourself and are forced to break up due to some objective conditions. In fact, if you constantly reflect on yourself and think from the other person's perspective when you are in love, I think you should be successful.

@kangkangjian: I have no experience and have never experienced the pain of loss. And there are still too many fantasies, and I don’t know how to be content, and I think there may be better options. Another thing is that they are very selfish in relationships. They don't consider the other person and just do whatever makes them happy. While pursuing personal happiness, you crush other people's hearts under your wheels. I personally despise this kind of behavior that hurts others and yourself.

@云fang6: Maybe it’s because I haven’t experienced much and I don’t understand what true love is. Love requires giving without asking for anything in return. Love with your heart and feel the other person. Love is mutual understanding + giving + basic material + experiencing some things.