What kind of women like to fantasize about men raping them?

Young and beautiful women also feel lonely sometimes. When they are extremely lonely, they will have sexual fantasies. They may imagine that the man they like, a handsome celebrity, or even a handsome guy they have met on the street rapes them in bed. The more they think about it, the more excited they become, and they may reach orgasm through masturbation. This is not uncommon and is part of the sexual psychology of a lonely woman.

Nine surveys of women's rape fantasies have been published between 1973 and 2008. The survey showed that about four in ten women (31% to 57%) admitted that they had rape fantasies with a moderate frequency, about once a month. The actual prevalence of rape fantasies may be higher because women are less comfortable admitting to them.

For a new report (Bivona, J. and J. Critelli. "The Nature of Women's Rape Fantasies: Prevalence, Frequency, and Content Analysis," Journal of Sex Research (2009) 46:33), psychologists at the University of North Texas asked 355 college women: How often do you fantasize about being subjected to oral, vaginal, or anal sex by a man or woman in a manner that is forceful, forced, or rapist-like against your will?

62% of women said they had had this fantasy at least once. But their answers were different for different words. When asked about the most typical plot in women's romance novels, "being overworked by a man," 52% said they had fantasized about it, but when asked about the word "rape," only 32% said they had fantasized about it. These findings are consistent with previous reports.

Some women have been forced to have sex. At first glance, rape fantasies don't make sense - why would you fantasize about something that's actually horrible, even life-threatening, in real life?

But upon closer inspection, such fantasies are not uncommon. Many men daydream about being the hero who saves the damsel in distress—without ever wanting to actually face an armed robber or be trapped in a fire on the 23rd floor.

Fantasy allows us to safely “experience” the outer limits of our imagination without any risk—and for some people, this includes fantasies about compulsive sexual behavior. In the fantasy world, everything is allowed and nothing is wrong.

Rape fantasies, however, raise some tricky questions. Many women who have rape fantasies cannot shake off the perverted and depraved feelings.

The frequency of rape fantasies varies widely. 38% of respondents had never had such a fantasy; of those who had, 25% said they had it less than once a year, 13% had it several times a year, 11% had it once a month, 8% had it once a week, and 5% had it several times a week. (Twenty-one percent of respondents said they had actually been sexually assaulted in real life.)

Rape fantasies can be both arousing and aversive. In an arousing fantasy, the woman imagined, "I'm being forced and I'm enjoying it." In a disgusting fantasy, she imagined, "I'm being forced and I hate it." In a recent survey, 45% of women had fantasies that were completely arousing; 9% were completely disgusting; and 46% were a combination of both.

Rape or near-rape fantasies are central to romance novels, one of the most enduring and popular genres of fiction. These books are often called "bodice-rippers," with titles like "Love's Sweet Savage Fury," which at least suggest a degree of compulsion. In them, a handsome rogue is so overwhelmed by his hormones that he loses control and must have her even if she refuses him - she resists at first but eventually settles into submission, desire and great satisfaction.

Romance novels are often referred to as "women's reading." Pornography is all about sexual fantasies. In male pornography, the fantasy is one of sexual sufficiency—insatiable, hungry women who have no interest in sex. In female erotica, as depicted in romance novels, the fantasy is one in which a man desires something so intensely that he completely loses control, even though he never actually hurts the woman and ends up marrying her.

What do rape fantasies mean? My view is that they are no different than any other fantasy. They are neither wrong nor depraved. They have no implications for a person's mental health or real-life sexual orientation.

They just happen, in about half of women. If you have this fantasy and are sad about it, I can't tell you what to think; but I assure you that you are not alone. How do you feel about the shockingly common occurrence of rape and near-rape fantasies?