How to overcome sexual boredom in couples

A netizen asked: I have been married for more than 20 years and have a good relationship with my wife, but for some reason, I have recently become bored with sex. I don’t feel as happy after sex as I used to. I feel physically and mentally exhausted. In the past, she complained that I did it too often, but now I complain that she demands too much. Every time we have sex, it feels like I am completing a task assigned by my superiors. I run every day, I am healthy and mentally normal, why am I so tired of sex? Am I sick?

Xiaoyu’s answer: First of all, please rest assured. Since you feel that there is nothing wrong with your body, your sexual boredom is not caused by illness. You should look for the cause in your sexual life. In fact, no matter how deep the relationship between a couple is, they will experience sexual boredom within a certain period of time, but the degree and duration of the relationship will vary.

It is natural for sexual desire to fluctuate, just like the changes in the menstrual cycle. Don't rush to force it to be the same as before, but slowly wait for the desire to accumulate. During this waiting period, both parties can adjust their physical and mental states by participating in various activities, such as going out for fun and participating in cultural and entertainment activities. You can also deliberately separate for a period of time to use the distance in time and space to enhance the longing and concern for each other, achieving the effect of "a short separation is better than a new marriage". At the same time, you should continue to learn sexual techniques, strive to innovate, and try to make every sexual life a new attempt, which will bring new experiences. It should be noted that you should actively respond to new requests made by your partner, do not remain silent, and certainly not pour a bucket of cold water on them. The natural cooling of sexual desire is not terrible. The key is to overcome it with positive means.