Men are like light bulbs, women are like irons

Many women have similar complaints: "One of the most annoying things is that our sex life is always out of sync. He gets excited easily and dies down when he talks, but I never get interested for a long time. When I get interested, I want the time to last longer. As a result, we always fight about this. Is there any good way to solve this problem?"

The facts are indeed as these women said: a man's sexual response is like a light bulb, which lights up immediately when the switch is pulled, and goes out again when the light is turned off; a woman's sexual response is like an iron or electric iron, which is not easy to heat up, and you can't be impatient. You can only wait for it to slowly heat up for ten or twenty minutes. Once it is heated, it is not easy to cool it down, and it will still be hot after a long time. A survey in the United States shows that the average time women desire for pre-care is 17 minutes, and among women who caress for more than 20 minutes beforehand, 7.7% still cannot reach orgasm. Foreplay is not just a matter of speeding up, but also a matter of directly enhancing sexual response or achieving high sexual arousal through effective stimulation of sexual sensitive areas, because many women find it difficult to reach orgasm through sexual intercourse. During the process of prior caressing, the sexual response undergoes a leap from quantitative change to qualitative change. Vaginal lubrication does not mean that a woman is ready for sexual intercourse. It is only the first step in a woman's sexual response. They also require a lot of caressing and stimulation to achieve psychological arousal, that is, a considerable degree of pleasure. Only in this way can they lay the necessary foundation for the arrival of orgasm.

Most of the lubrication required for human sexual response is provided by women. If women lack secretion after receiving a certain amount of sexual stimulation, it obviously means that they are not mentally and physiologically prepared for sexual life. But sometimes women do have physiological problems. For example, the drop in estrogen levels in menopausal women can affect secretion. 

Pre-sexual caressing does not only begin before sexual intercourse, it may be carried out throughout the day, and some broader preparations can be made in advance to help create the atmosphere, such as making a phone call before going home, buying a bouquet of flowers on the way home, and arranging a warm dinner. These are all sweet sexual signals and have the effect of gradually heating up.

From another perspective, men can be like irons and women can be like light bulbs, because men need strong stimulation and are not afraid of being beaten, while women are like light bulbs, they like gentleness and need to be treated with caution. There must be sufficient communication between husband and wife in order to do pre-sex caressing in a targeted manner. Middle-aged and older men also need caressing before sex, but it does not necessarily mean touching; visual stimulation may be more important.