The biggest contrast between husband and wife is in this aspect

Why do you have sex? Because you love someone, or want them, or both, maybe to get pregnant.

Other times it's just to calm an argument or improve a bad day.

But you must know that your reasons for having sex may be completely different from your partner's...

(1) She makes love for intimacy, and he makes love for her pleasure

Jin likes the feeling of intimacy with A-min, so she likes sex. She saw sex as a way to achieve the intimacy she craved.

Amin is just the opposite. Like many people, he only wants sex two or three times a month.

Whenever he told her he wasn't in the mood, she would become irritated, no matter how he assured her that he loved her. After this happened several times, Jin was convinced that Ming did not love her or did not love her enough, and her mood suddenly became depressed.

So Armin starts having sex with her more (not as much as she wants, but certainly more than he wants).

He made love to her dutifully and even mechanically, but what Jin desired was romance, and she gradually became one with him amid his sweet words.

Her slowness annoyed him, and his efficiency chilled her.

(ii) He likes bizarre sex, she just wants the normal kind

Both Zhang Jun and his wife received strict family education, but the education had the opposite effect on them - especially in their married life.

"Challenging traditional notions of what is good is a step forward," Zhang Jun said confidently. "Unusual sex positions, even being discovered in an elevator, can actually arouse people's desires."

Mrs. Zhang is different. She always feels ashamed when it comes to topics related to sex.

“I hate Zhang Jun’s tricks, his dirty talk, and his willingness to be seen having sex,” she said. “I just want normal sex now — normal positions, nothing new or weird.”

And what terrifies Mrs. Zhang is that if she wants to relax with her husband in bed for even a second, he can lure her into an uncomfortable, dangerous situation.

Therefore she could never relax and sexual arousal was almost impossible for her.

(3) He wants to merge with the other person during sex, while she wants to get a strong feeling

Jolin enjoys sex because it makes her feel strong and independent.

"Sex is about being free to try the positions I like, to ask for the things I like, and even to make all the noises if I want," she said.

But her husband didn't want to feel independent. “I just want to be one with Jolin,” he said. “I just want to be one with the person who gives my life meaning.”

He didn't want Jolin to close her eyes when they made love, didn't like her to gasp loudly or have multiple orgasms.

Because it would overdraw his physical strength and make him exhausted; it would make him feel hurt and even abandoned.

Roulin's self-awareness could never be satisfied in bed.