The real psychology of men's fear of marriage

Heilongjiang reader Zhang Xiaoxiao asked: My boyfriend and I have been in love for 5 years. He is 33 years old this year and I am 29, both of us are at the age to get married. But every time I brought up the topic of marriage, he would change the subject, which made me very sad. In fact, my boyfriend has always been very good to me and his financial situation is not bad, but he just doesn't want to get married. Why are men afraid of marriage?

Taiwanese marriage and family therapist Li Shengzhi answered: Modern people generally get married late, and one of the important reasons is "fear of marriage." American scholars said that the fear of marriage is a global phenomenon. In the past five years, 70% of young people in the United States have received pre-marital training in order to eliminate the fear of marriage. Among the "marriage-phobic group", there are more men than women, and more men with good economic conditions than men with poor economic conditions. There are several main reasons why men are afraid of getting married: first, they are afraid of losing their freedom and are unwilling to let marriage restrict and change themselves; second, they are even more afraid that they will have to force themselves to adapt to another person after marriage. The second is the fear of the responsibilities and pressures that marriage brings. Young people today are taken care of by their parents for a long time and mature psychologically late. Once they get married, they have to face life alone. Issues such as the elderly, children, and property will bring them pressure, which will lead them to have thoughts of escape. Third, the number of divorces is increasing, and some men are worried about problems after marriage and always feel that the time is not ripe. Finally, there is a possibility that the man has been hurt, such as his parents having a bad relationship, being abandoned, etc. When facing a boyfriend who is afraid of marriage, never force him blindly. Instead, understand him and slowly let him feel the benefits of marriage. For example, spend weekends with him at home; often take him to the homes of friends who are happily married... One day, he will be willing to walk into the marriage hall with you.