Your significant other wants you to pick up the dry cleaning, but you're delayed because of work. If you go to get it, it will affect your work. So you choose to go home and say, "Sorry, I forgot." Couples tell each other white lies all the time. They know very well that sometimes telling the truth is the beginning of a war between husband and wife. According to Dr. Pete Pearson, co-author of Lie to Me, arguments are never about a simple matter of whether or not the dry cleaning was picked up. "It's about whether one partner is thinking of the other first at any other time." Such lies are relatively just the beginning, but lies can be destroyers of the glue that holds together a relationship - trust. Trust is the expectation that your partner will not hurt you when you feel hurt. People will cheat on each other now. Why? Stan Walter, author of "The Truth About Lies: How to See Through Lies and Avoid Being Deceived," said, "There are three reasons why people lie." “They lie to hide things from you, to hurt you in some way or to promote themselves. Is someone lying to you? You can't be 100% sure. Even experts can't always make accurate judgments. Some behaviors we often associate with lying - crossed arms, sweaty palms, increased heart rate, soaring blood pressure, hesitating, fidgeting, crossing legs, and weird smiles - cannot accurately identify whether it is a lie. More out of fear than lying. One of the biggest myths is that you can tell if someone is lying to you by looking into their eyes. There are clues to spot lies. It is difficult to conclude that a person is lying based on just one sign. Walter says that when you notice two or more signs, you can conclude that someone is lying. How to spot a liar: 1. Pinocchio Signs Dr. Hirsch says that when a person tells a lie, specific tissues in the nose often become congested. He called nasal congestion the "Pinocchio sign," which causes cells to release histamine, making the nose itchy. 2. Cover up Look for signs of rejection, such as pursing lips, rubbing eyes, touching nose or ears, and signs of disgust, such as turning the head or body to the side when making a serious statement. 3. God is on his side Religious phrases such as "I swear on my mother's grave," "God, it is not so," or "God is my witness." 4. Refusing to admit the fault Denial phrases like “believe me,” “honestly,” and “to be completely honest” are all cops. Avoidance is an attempt to change the mindset about a behavior. Repeated denials are classic cues for lying. |
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