There are three words that Chinese men find most difficult to say

In my opinion, among all the men in the world, Chinese men are the least likely to say the three words "I love you". The reason is not that we don’t want to say it, but that our culture prevents us from saying it.

I have lived in the United States for 26 years and have long learned to say "I love you" in English in a hypocritical manner. Not only do I know how to say it, but I say it an average of more than 70 times a day, to my family, employees, neighbors, and even strangers. In the United States, saying "I love you" is a very natural thing. Even my three Chinese sons who were born in the United States always remember to say "Love you Dad" to me seriously before hanging up the phone after a quarrel with me.

I can speak it very naturally in English, but once I switch to Chinese, I can't say these three words no matter how hard I try. Sometimes I would hide in the toilet and practice whispering "I love you", but immediately it felt disgusting, corny and pretentious. I don’t know why, but as soon as I said this, I couldn’t help but feel contempt for myself and wanted to jump up and spit at myself.

One year I made a rare trip back to my hometown in Beijing to visit my 80-year-old mother. When I saw her, I couldn't help but think sadly, I can only go back once a year, how many times can I go back to see her in my lifetime? So I got excited and said to her sincerely: "Mom, I love you."

Unexpectedly, as soon as I finished speaking, my mother was startled. She looked at me in astonishment and asked tentatively, "Son, are you sick?"

Chinese men can only make love, not talk about love. We also wishfully believe that European and American men say "I love you" all the time but do nothing, while Chinese men are the most down-to-earth and hardworking men in the world. That’s why we have the largest population in the world…and it proves that this feat was not said, but done.

Chinese people value being subtle and introverted, and they believe in "loving you but not saying it out loud". They can write the three words "I love you" into a book, a long poem of several pages, or a seven-character ancient poem, and let those uneducated people guess the deep meaning hidden in it... In short, they are sincerely trying to torment people. Europeans and Americans simply cannot do this. They often just say "I love you" directly and that's it.

The reason why Chinese people are reluctant to say it is that they believe that the word "love" is extremely sacred and cannot be thrown around to anyone. Once said, they have to be responsible. Not only that, they also believe that the sentences "I like you" and "I love you" are completely different concepts, and the latter has a deeper meaning than the former. But for the thick-skinned Europeans and Americans, there is only "I love you" and there is no concept of "I like you" at all.

Chinese people believe that saying "I love you" all the time and throwing it out regardless of the occasion is vulgar and worthless. However, when lovers hear these three words again, they will no longer blush, they will become numb, and their hearts will stop beating.

Since so many Chinese people don't dare to say "I love you", I will find an opportunity for them to say it bravely. So, that day, I got excited and wanted to record a short show for Chinese men - "Brother Cui's Microphone". So I took a camera to the street and begged a dozen male compatriots to record the video. Then, I pointed the camera at them and began with deep emotion:

"My dear men, even if the woman in your life is more domineering than Jiang Qing, you are not allowed to think about her bad things today. You can only think about her good things. Think about how she has been with you through thick and thin in your life, how she has given birth to your children, how she has slept with you countless times without charging you any money, how she has worked hard with you, started your own business, and lived your life with you without leaving you. Even if she has no merits, she has worked hard. If you say goodbye forever tomorrow and never see each other again, I will give you this opportunity to say a few of the most genuine, pure and unpretentious words to the woman in your life, into my microphone, Brother Cui. Okay, let's get started."

At first, the men were embarrassed to say these three words, especially in front of my camera. But when I said that if you and your lover will say goodbye forever tomorrow, the men were deeply moved and began to speak in a low and shy voice. As they spoke, some began to speak loudly and even made a final farewell confession from the bottom of their hearts; some men began to sigh deeply after saying three words, and then choked with sobs and could not speak.

To be honest, I have rarely seen the kind of excitement, impulse and passion among Chinese men. At that moment, I felt that I didn't really understand the Chinese people, including myself. They either don't say it, but once they say it, it seems so affectionate and sincere, and the three words "I love you" also become profound. Therefore, our nation loves too deeply. Although it may seem so cold on the surface, in fact, the hot tear glands are just under a layer of window paper, which will break at any touch and then become uncontrollable.

So, Chinese women, please don’t mind if the men around you don’t say those three words easily. Once they say it, they will be serious and responsible for these three words; and if they are unwilling to say it, it does not mean that they do not love you. Their love for you is reflected in their actions.