How you look at this thing determines whether you are sexually happy

Our culture has a strange, interesting, and confusing relationship with sex. On one hand, we want teenagers to say "no" to sex, while on the other hand, every adult is trying to draw conclusions, hoping to find a consistent understanding of what sex is and how it appears and integrates into life.

This fixed conclusion is that our guardians regard sex as a family heirloom, passed down from generation to generation. Parents of teenagers and young adults want to protect their children from making mistakes and use sex education as a tool to prevent related incidents from happening. In their day, use good examples to persuade teenagers (that's for your benefit, not for me). This conflicting feeling makes us feel that sex brings up a series of emotions, including shame and guilt, which turn deep within us and eventually suppress our sexual desire. When this happens unconsciously, other parts of our lives are affected as well; creativity is blocked, relationships become strained, boredom or hurt follows, and anxiety ensues.

Sex is shameful, even today most people recognize it, and people have come to fear it, try to avoid it, or participate in it while remaining emotionally detached from it.

Most people have a theoretical understanding that sex is a biological part of what makes us human, a necessity, or an opportunity to release pent-up energy; a few accept that these same theories apply to them, too. It is always fun when I talk to clients about sex, most of them become visibly uncomfortable or giggle.

Sometimes it’s clear that negative feelings and attitudes about sex come from traumatic experiences, such as sexual abuse. In this case, sexuality itself has become more complicated than just adjusting one's views. Without sexual trauma, every adult can, with a little help, understand their sexual nature and begin to enjoy the benefits of healthy sexuality (which can help the immune system, increase libido, lower blood pressure, and reduce the risk of heart disease; can provide physical exercise, reduce pain, improve sleep quality, and reduce stress).

How do you begin to understand your connection to sexuality?

Many people carry around sexual confusion and conflict throughout their lives. They feel like they are stuck in a quagmire, unable to find a solution to their problems. It's a good idea to review your sex life and try to identify problems or become aware of issues that may be relevant to you. It's crucial to explore and understand your relationship with sexuality before making any associations.

Ask yourself some questions:

When you start thinking about sex, what's the first thing that comes to mind?

What's your first reaction to the idea of ​​sex? Do you feel comfortable or uneasy? Embarrassed? Ashamed? At ease? Your basic reaction can roughly tell you your attitude toward sex. Knowing your attitude toward sex can help you understand where you need to focus and where you can start to address it.

How does your guardian view sex?

Are they open when it comes to sex, or are they nervous, or do they try to avoid the subject? If you answer honestly, you may be surprised to find that there are some commonalities in the answers to questions 2 and 3, and that's perfectly natural.

Can you think of some benefits after sex?

When answering this question, do not rely on recalling general facts. And try to rely on your own experience. Answering this question can help you further understand your attitude toward sex and incorporating it into your life.

Similar questions as above, but may evoke different responses. You can ask yourself: What did this experience bring to you? Was it just a desire that needed to be satisfied? Or was there more to it? The more detailed your answer, the better.

Start by asking yourself these questions and see what they remind you of and what other questions they prompt. To improve other areas of your life that are inspired by your sexual experiences, try to discover if there are other problems or solutions that you need to pay attention to.